he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
