careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
