i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize