hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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