Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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