you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
