I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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