You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
