I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Randomize
