if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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