never play flip cup with pint glasses
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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