i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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