WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
