I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
