def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
