Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
