Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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