lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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