meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Randomize
