I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
