Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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