I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
