I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
