why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize