today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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