hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
