Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
