so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
