She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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