i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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