Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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