Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I'm really busy with my period
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