My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
