Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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