your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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