no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
