if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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