i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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