Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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