I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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