We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
