in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
MIDGETS
????
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
