i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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