can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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