That's intense
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Sext me about skeletons
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
