Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
