Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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