she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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