Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
