i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You took a bar mat shot.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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