so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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