Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Just invented taco cereal.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
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