just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
