Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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