we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
