I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
