Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
True strength comes from lack of pants
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
