I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
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